After about 20 years of marriage, I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate.

A liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job after.

Woman, or more precisely put, perhaps, marriage, is the representative of life with which you are meant to come to terms.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.

My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.

A good husband makes a good wife.

There is nothing wrong with your marriage if you're dealing with bills and kids and the broken garbage disposal and in-laws and work demands. That's a normal marriage.

An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband.

Friendship is the marriage of the soul, and this marriage is liable to divorce.

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

When people get married because they think it's a long-time love affair, they'll be divorced very soon, because all love affairs end in disappointment. But marriage is a recognition of a spiritual identity.

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

The argument that gay marriage doesn't affect straight marriages is a ridiculous red herring: Gay marriage affects society and law in dramatic ways. Religious groups will come under direct assault as federal and state governments move to strip them of their non-profit statuses if they refuse to perform gay marriages.

The key to a happy marriage is myself being absent for long periods of time. My wife Leesa and I will celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary next year, but if my comedy gigs petered out and I was around the house more, we'd 100% be getting divorced.

The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast.

In terms of my marriage, you know, falling in love with my husband was by far the best thing that's ever happened to me.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relation.

Friendship is two-sided. It isn't a friend just because someone's doing something nice for you. That's a nice person. There's friendship when you do for each other. It's like marriage - it's two-sided.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.

A beautiful woman is the best investment in marriage a man can make. And anybody who advises otherwise is talking sheer nonsense.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Marriage is the highest state of friendship. If happy, it lessens our cares by dividing them, at the same time that it doubles our pleasures by mutual participation.

Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.

Marriage is the most natural state of man, and... the state in which you will find solid happiness.

In marriage do thou be wise: prefer the person before money, virtue before beauty, the mind before the body; then thou hast a wife, a friend, a companion, a second self.

Marriage brings one into fatal connection with custom and tradition, and traditions and customs are like the wind and weather, altogether incalculable.

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.

Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!

Finding good partners is the key to success in anything: in business, in marriage and, especially, in investing.

May this marriage be full of laughter, our every day in paradise.

Gay marriage is absolutely something that I am in full support of and a big advocate of, and I think it's an important issue, but there's a reason that I don't talk about politics and why I'll never be in politics. I am not the person to ever do that.

Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings... and lawyers.

Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

In a way, fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb.

Friendship brings in a lot of honesty and trust into any relationship, especially a marriage.

I think long-lasting, healthy relationships are more important than the idea of marriage. At the root of every successful marriage is a strong partnership.

You know, my friends, with what a brave carouse I made a Second Marriage in my house; favored old barren reason from my bed, and took the daughter of the vine to spouse.

Friendship brings in a lot of honesty and trust into any relationship, especially a marriage.

In the course of a marriage, one accommodates the other.

Marriage must be a relation either of sympathy or of conquest.

I don't know if I believe in marriage. I believe in family, love and children.

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.

I've just concluded - since President Obama endorses the same-sex marriage, advocates homosexual people, and enjoys an attractive countenance - thus if it becomes necessary, I shall travel to Washington, D.C., get down on my knee, and ask his hand.

The first condition of marriage between a man and a woman is that both must belong to each other totally.

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

In the spring of 1936, I was introduced by friends to Jean Tatlock. In the autumn, I began to court her. We were at least twice close enough to marriage to think of ourselves as engaged.

When my marriage broke up... I had just put on 45 pounds for my 'Shall We Dance?' character. I had to eat 10,000 calories a day just to put on weight while training with Tony Dovolani. I basically stayed in bed for a six-month rotation of depression naps. Dance helped me lose the weight.

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.

It is my belief that no matter how advanced man may become in science, technology, systems, and knowledge, he can never improve on the foundational precepts of marriage as the bedrock of social development.

Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory.

Romantic love is an illusion. Most of us discover this truth at the end of a love affair or else when the sweet emotions of love lead us into marriage and then turn down their flames.

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years.

Marriage is a very sacred institution and should not be degraded by allowing every other type of relationship to be made equivalent to it.

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

I refused David Letterman's proposal of marriage for obvious reasons, but thanks for asking.

Marriage is good for those who are afraid to sleep alone at night.

In reality, relationships that are successful tend to take the attitude, 'How can I help you?' 'How can I enrich your life?' 'How can I be a better husband to you,' if it's a marriage.

I've had an exciting time; I married for love and got a little money along with it.

Experts on romance say for a happy marriage there has to be more than a passionate love. For a lasting union, they insist, there must be a genuine liking for each other. Which, in my book, is a good definition for friendship.

All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership.

Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.

Marriage is one long conversation, chequered by disputes.

Every marriage tends to consist of an aristocrat and a peasant. Of a teacher and a learner.

The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they're right if you love to be with them all the time.

How hard it is to have the beautiful interdependence of marriage and yet be strong in oneself alone.

Marriage is an act of will that signifies and involves a mutual gift, which unites the spouses and binds them to their eventual souls, with whom they make up a sole family - a domestic church.

Art is a marriage of the conscious and the unconscious.

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.

When people get married young, you don't really understand the true definition of marriage.

One should believe in marriage as in the immortality of the soul.

Next month, I will celebrate my 30th anniversary of marriage with my beautiful bride, Vicki. Our marriage has been a blessing. I have gained even more respect for the institution over the past 3 decades and will defend it against attack.

Many people spend more time in planning the wedding than they do in planning the marriage.

Regarding marriage, it - somehow, it didn't happen. One fellow in such a big family not getting married is not an issue.

Marriage is a coming together for better or for worse, hopefully enduring, and intimate to the degree of being sacred.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It's a choice you make - not just on your wedding day, but over and over again - and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife.

The great marriages are partnerships. It can't be a great marriage without being a partnership.

The secret to a long marriage is to stay gone.

After 45 years of marriage, when I have an argument with my wife, if we don't agree, we do what she wants. But, when we agree, we do what I want!

A word of encouragement from a teacher to a child can change a life. A word of encouragement from a spouse can save a marriage. A word of encouragement from a leader can inspire a person to reach her potential.

It is the duty of every thoughtful Indian not to marry. In case he is helpless in regard to marriage, he should abstain from sexual intercourse with his wife.

Marriage is not about age; it's about finding the right person.

Getting married, for me, was the best thing I ever did. I was suddenly beset with an immense sense of release, that we have something more important than our separate selves, and that is the marriage. There's immense happiness that can come from working towards that.

Love is not weakness. It is strong. Only the sacrament of marriage can contain it.

Marriages, like careers, need constant nurturing... the secret of having it all is loving it all.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Not cohabitation but consensus constitutes marriage.

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

The first time you marry for love, the second for money, and the third for companionship.

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel.