Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so.

Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.

It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.

I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.

I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

It is to be observed that 'angling' is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish.

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

Electricity is of two kinds, positive and negative. The difference is, I presume, that one comes a little more expensive, but is more durable; the other is a cheaper thing, but the moths get into it.

A half truth, like half a brick, is always more forcible as an argument than a whole one. It carries better.

Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect.