I think my politics are just inclined to be empathetic and humanistic. I grew up with so many different kinds of people with different politics, different religion, no religion, no politics, education, no education, and I was infatuated with all of them.

I guess if people couldn't profit from war I don't think there would be war.

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.

Remember we're all in this alone.

Many times I sit back and say, 'I can't believe that this is my life!' Other times, I feel self-satisfied. I mean, there's a lot to be proud and thankful for but, nonetheless, it's just a life!

When I was 9 or 10, I had a ten-cent business: I would walk your dog for a dime, go to the store for a dime, empty your garbage for a dime - and then I could use the money to buy tricks at the magic store.

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

I grew up in a time when women didn't really do comedy. You had to be homely, overweight, an old maid, all that. You had to play a stereotype, because very attractive women were not supposed to be funny - because it's powerful; it's a threat.

We're all in this alone.

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.