Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.

I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be.

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far.

My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.