When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.

Some people say funny things, but I say things funny.

I was in World War II; I cried when they took me in the Navy. That's the last time I cried.

Whatever you do to gain success, you have to hang in there and hope good things happen. Always think positive.

You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude.

Among my friends, I'm not a little Boy Scout, and they love my humor, thank God.

Political correctness? In my humor, I never talk about politics. I was never much into all that.

Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?

You know what's funny to me? Attitude.

Half the battle is that people have to like you before you say one joke, one bit of humor.

You know what's funny to me? Attitude.

Bob Hope was totally regimented. I go in and say a line like, 'Hi Bob' and I'd have to do it five times, and then Bob would take me to the writers to say the line different ways. He wouldn't let me ad-lib.

Famous people are deceptive. Deep down, they're just regular people. Like Larry King. We've been friends for forty years. He's one of the few guys I know who's really famous. One minute he's talking to the president on his cell phone, and then the next minute he's saying to me, 'Do you think we ought to give the waiter another dollar?'

If I have learned anything, it is to keep my wife happy by sending her lavish gifts. Other men can learn from my success and send their wives and girlfriends fresh flowers for birthdays, anniversaries, and of course, Valentine's Day.