I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.

Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.

God gives the nuts, but he does not crack them.

The great marriages are partnerships. It can't be a great marriage without being a partnership.

Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.

Let's face it, a nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me.

Often the hands will solve a mystery that the intellect has struggled with in vain.

One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.

If one of two lovers is loyal, and the other jealous and false, how may their friendship last, for Love is slain!

On Sunday morning, I'm not nervous... I can't wait to tell what God wants me to say.

Good leadership consists of showing average people how to do the work of superior people.

If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you'll never get it done.

What do you mean by faith? Is faith enough for Man? Should he be satisfied with faith alone? Is there no way of finding out the truth? Is the attitude of faith, of believing in something for which there can be no more than philosophic proof, the true mark of a Christian?

It is now common knowledge that the average American gains 7 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day.

Those who are believed to be most abject and humble are usually most ambitious and envious.

When people come to my act any time after Thanksgiving, I usually say, You shouldn't be here. You should be shopping. Our economy depends on you! You should be out there buying stuff.'

Give yourself something to work toward - constantly.

If you owe the bank $100 that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.

From heresy, frenzy and jealousy, good Lord deliver me.

Rough diamonds may sometimes be mistaken for worthless pebbles.

I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.

I think we take it for granted that if you are with your husband after 30 years, then he is the love of your life.

Man needs his difficulties because they are necessary to enjoy success.

Light, God's eldest daughter, is a principal beauty in a building.