The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.

You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough.

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.