My parents split before my fifth birthday, and I moved with Mom and my three siblings to her native Oahu.

For so much of my life, I lived feeling as if, if I spoke, if I said something, I would lose everything. I would be pushed out. No one will want me. No one will love me. No one would want to be friends with me. It took me decades to get to a space of saying, 'This is my truth. This is who I am, and I don't care if you like me or you don't like me.'

I was a mixed black girl existing in a westernized Hawaiian culture where petite Asian women were the ideal, in a white culture where black women were furthest from the standard of beauty, in an American culture where trans women of color were invisible.

I would advise any 17-year-old to surround yourself with people who listen to you, nod when you speak, and smile when you enter spaces.

I would advise any 17-year-old to surround yourself with people who listen to you, nod when you speak, and smile when you enter spaces.