Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.

I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.

The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.

Death is a distant rumor to the young.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.

The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.