All that a husband or wife really wants is to be pitied a little, praised a little, and appreciated a little.

A man who leaves home to mend himself and others is a philosopher; but he who goes from country to country, guided by the blind impulse of curiosity, is a vagabond.

When lovely woman stoops to folly, and finds too late that men betray, what charm can soothe her melancholy, what art can wash her guilt away?

Pity and friendship are two passions incompatible with each other.

I chose my wife, as she did her wedding gown, for qualities that would wear well.

A great source of calamity lies in regret and anticipation; therefore a person is wise who thinks of the present alone, regardless of the past or future.

Let schoolmasters puzzle their brain, With grammar, and nonsense, and learning, Good liquor, I stoutly maintain, Gives genius a better discerning.

They say women and music should never be dated.

The best way to make your audience laugh is to start laughing yourself.

I love everything that's old, - old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wine.

Success consists of getting up just one more time than you fall.

I was ever of the opinion, that the honest man who married and brought up a large family, did more service than he who continued single, and only talked of population.

As writers become more numerous, it is natural for readers to become more indolent; whence must necessarily arise a desire of attaining knowledge with the greatest possible ease.

Life is a journey that must be traveled no matter how bad the roads and accommodations.

Success consists of getting up just one more time than you fall.

Conscience is a coward, and those faults it has not strength enough to prevent it seldom has justice enough to accuse.

The company of fools may first make us smile, but in the end we always feel melancholy.