You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.

Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it.

The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure.

You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.

Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone.

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.

The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure.

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.

It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.