Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil.

There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.

After a fellow gets famous it doesn't take long for someone to bob up that used to sit by him in school.

If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public.

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.

Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience.

There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose.

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.

Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.

Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.

Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.

It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

When a fellow says, 'It ain't the money but the principle of the thing,' it's the money.

A loafer always has the correct time.