There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.

Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.

There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't.

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.

In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us.

Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.

Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves.

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.

Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.

Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.

Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.

There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.

As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.

Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe.

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.