I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.