The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, because they say fans fight over them and they get hurt. In fact, the Florida Marlins said that's why they never hit any home runs. It's a safety issue.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

People don't mind if you have a lot of money if they know you're working for it.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You're not famous until my mother has heard of you.

Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together. You know what that means? There's still hope for Ike and Tina Turner.

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.

You aren't famous until my mother has heard of you.