Emphasizing effort gives a child a variable that they can control. They come to see themselves as in control of their success. Emphasizing natural intelligence takes it out of the child's control, and it provides no good recipe for responding to a failure.

Emphasizing effort gives a child a variable that they can control. They come to see themselves as in control of their success. Emphasizing natural intelligence takes it out of the child's control, and it provides no good recipe for responding to a failure.

This knowledge that you might have to really reorganize and redefine yourself and build new skills is really important.

Praise your child explicitly for how capable they are of learning rather than telling them how smart they are.

When we praise children for their intelligence, we tell them that this is the name of the game: Look smart; don't risk making mistakes.