Health food makes me sick.

I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.

With humor, it's so subjective that trying to think of what the ideal reader would think would drive you crazy.

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

When it comes to Chinese food I have always operated under the policy that the less known about the preparation the better. A wise diner who is invited to visit the kitchen replies by saying, as politely as possible, that he has a pressing engagement elsewhere.